Grieving...

Well, as you can guess - by the title, our little 97-cell blastocyst (aka baby) didn't make it. It was a long day of waiting - but because so many of my pregnancy symptoms had subsided, we had a "feeling" the little guy hadn't made it. We were still holding onto hope, ofcourse. We are most definitely grieving this loss. It has been such a long long journey. So many medicines, trips to Metairie & Baton Rouge, bedrest etc... It's hard to think it's over. (for now) We do have one snow baby (frozen embryo) it's actually a 98-cell grade 4 (grade 4 is the best at my clinic - different doctors use different grading systems). We will go next week to consult with the dr about when & how to do the next transfer. The benefit of that is that we don't have to go thru all the, visits, medicines (some) and retrieval (surgery) again. The main thing we lack knowing right now is the cost. We know that God has provided this far & He will continue to meet our needs. Our identity shouldn't be in becoming "mom & dad", it's to be in Christ & glorify Him in all things. That is why I am able to write this blog. It's personal, but it's the story that Christ has chosen for us & we aren't ashamed by any means. We appreciate your prayers for us & continue to thank Him for the opportunities He provides. This evening, Kelly and I can take rest in remembering Jermeiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Transfer Day!

We are on our way to Metairie for the transfer. We are scheduled for 7:30, but have to be there at 6:30 to get ready. We are very excited & anxious. The process is only to last a few minutes, but I will have to stay lying down for 1 hour. Then I'll be on strict bed rest for 48 hours once we get home. We are thankful for your prayers! It's hard to believe we have finally made it this far! God is so Good. To Him be the glory! "I will give thanks to the Lord because of his righteousness; I will sing the praises of the name of the Lord Most High." Psalm 7:17

FOUR!

We have received quite a few bits of "good news". I'm still a little nervous about it all and I'm trying to contain my excitement. But.... 


We have 4 embryos!!! One is a 6-cell grade 4 embryo and three are 4-cell grade 4 embryos. Grade 4 is the best they can be right now. As long as the cells keep multiplying, we are on the right track! 


Where do we go from here? 
Well, the embryos will continue to develop & be monitored in the lab until Friday when they will transfer 1 embryo to me. From there, I will be on strict bed rest for 48 hours. The transfer is in Metairie, so we will be traveling there and back on that day. It will take about 1 week before we know if the embryo implanted. 


As far as recovery from my surgery goes... I'm in some pain, lots of discomfort, but as long as I'm lying still, I'm okay. I have 3 incisions to doctor. 
I have quite a few meds to take, including progesterone which is an injections that Kelly has to give me. 

I had to make a chart to keep track of it all... I know... OCD much? 

Post Retrieval Medicine Calendar

I'm glad I did this before the surgery - It has helped Kelly keep track of what he has given me. Kelly has taken great care of me and we have had some great food from our friends at church! 

"Your eyes saw my unformed body;

all the days ordained for me were written in your book 

before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, God!

How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand

 — when I awake, I am still with you."

Psalm 139:16-18

Surgery. Retrieval Day!

We are on our way for the retrieval! We have to be at Tulane-lakeside at 6:45 & surgery is set for 8:30. We are excited & nervous. The surgery is outpatient & we hope to be home before this evening. We are so thankful that God has provided the way & means for us to get to this stage of the process. We are thankful for a team of people who will be spending their Sunday morning in an operating room & lab. We certainly appreciate all of the prayers. Sometimes it feels like a very selfish prayer request, yet I'm reminded that God doesn't give us a list of "can't pray for...". My God can move mountains. He provides all life. "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV

Kickin' It Old School...

This has been a really long week. By tomorrow, we will have made 4 trips to Baton Rouge for monitoring. It's been EXHAUSTING. The doctors office has been extremely busy every day that we went (in spite of being told "oh tomorrow won't be as busy b/c today was so busy" HA!). It's taken almost every penny we have for gas to get there and back - as well as missing all of my students (I was able to see 1).

I started on double doses of meds last week and then on monday my levels were fairly high so he halved one of my doses (follistim) and kept me on menopur. Wednesday my levels were still going up fast so he took me off menopur - today I didn't have follistim, but I had 3 doses of menopur. BLAH! It's been a lot to think about.

So now comes the point in the process where my abnormalities kick in. Because my ovary is up high (practically in my ribcage), I will have a laparoscopic retrieval of my eggs. This is how they first did this process before technology began to advance in the 90's. There are very few doctors that are able to do this. I'm thankful that my Dr. is accomplished in this procedure. His quote to me today was "when you get pregnant, I will be writing a paper on you... if that's okay?" - hey? why not?

The laparoscopic retrieval will be done this Sunday morning.

We would appreciate your prayers in a few specific ways:

• That God would provide us with the strength and courage to make it through the next few days. We have to go in tomorrow for monitoring. 
• Traveling mercies (We will be traveling to Metairie and back). Our team of Doctors, Embryologists, Lab people, Nurses, etc - all traveling for this). 
• That He will receive the Glory and His love will be shown in this process. 
• That we would cling to Him and one another during this time. 
• That the eggs would be mature and healthy for fertilization!

"Only fear the Lord 

and serve him faithfully 

with all your heart. 

For consider what great things 

he has done for you."

1 Samuel 12:24